Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Symbolism Behind a Raised Eyebrow...

I met him when I was walking to dinner on Saturday night. I was walking down Uriarte in Palermo, when he asked me (in Spanish) if I knew where Soler was (a name of the street).

I said "no se" which means I don't know.
In perfect English he said, "Do you really not know or do you just don't speak any Spanish?"
My response was, "NO! I really don't FUCKIN know!"

We both started laughing and walking together. As we walked and talked, we passed the street that he was looking for, and he walked me to the restaurant where I was meeting some people. He was really funny, nice and curious about me, so when he asked me for my number, I thought..... "Hey, why not!" Then we parted.

He texted me on Monday and asked me if I had any plans. I told him I didn't so he asked me out for a beer.

We met up later that night and went to a bar.

Things were harmless at first. We were having general conversations about where we are from, what we do, or in my case what I did, travels and interests....

The entire time he was showering me with complements and getting a lil touchy as the night progressed. All of my friends know that I'm not a touchy/feely person and the fact that this guy was so touchy was really grossing me out. On top of that, I know this sounds crazy and neurotic and I really don't care, I was really disgusted by his hands.... I don't know how to explain it, but he was a grown man with extremely chubby, feminine baby hands that were very sweaty/moist, hot and looked like he's never touched anything rough in his life. Every time he attempted to touch my arm or my back, I was secretly vomiting in my mouth....

As we exhausted all the safe subjects, he started drilling me about the types of men I like, what attracts me to a man physically, what qualities I look for, if I prefer love affairs or relationships... It was to the point where I was getting uncomfortable.... Meanwhile the touchiness increased. I started dodging his playful and disgusting caresses with his gross baby hands.

and then I learned something new...

He commented on the fact that I raise my eyebrow when I speak and told me that when people do that it means that they are really rough in bed!

Let me explain this: Raised eyebrow during conversation=Rough in bed

My beer almost came out of my nose.
"Yes, yes," he said, "It's true, I've been with two women that raise their eyebrow and they were both very rough!"
Uh huh....
"But not me," he said, "I dont raise my eyebrow and I'm very gentle and nice."

And that's when the situation got worse....

He told me I have beautiful cheeks and then started pinching them, both of them, with his gross baby hands. I think I was frozen and in shock. He kept pinching my cheeks and and saying over and over again, "You have such nice cheeks, you have such nice cheeks!" which with his accent sounded like, "You have such nice tits, you have such nice tits." And when he was done pinching, he caressed my face with the back of his hand. I was unable to move. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever experienced and I couldnt believe that it was happening to me.

I wanted to escape but he wanted to chat further and this time on more sexual subjects. He told me that he's an extremely open person and likes to discuss sex the first time he's out with a girl. I told him that I disagree and dont find those types of conversations appropriate. He blamed my "shyness" on cultural differences and told me that I, unlike Argentinians, am not an open person. He told me there's nothing wrong talking about sex and the likes/dislikes when he's on the first date. I told him that just because there's a first date, it doesn't necessarily mean that the two people will have sex down the line so the whole conversation is pointless.

I FINALLY told him that I was really tired and wanted to go home. We walked to the main street together where we would part and he started talking about women in California having a lot of breast implants and then he said, "But you dont need it, yours are very nice."

To which I said, "Thank you, you are very observant and kind."

We walked to the main street, I hoped in a cab, and hoped for a hot shower and that I would never hear from him and his gross baby hands again.....


  1. I'll have you know that my hands are soft.

    You have shamed me

  2. But are they pudgy and fat and sweaty/moist?


    "Joo haff nass tits"

    pueeees, mi amor, es tiempo para buscar por una nueva grupa de artes, musica, sciencias or problemas nuevas para practica da spaneesh y encontre nuevas persona.


  4. lol...gross baby hands! I love it!

  5. i think you just have to post a video of it cause this story is great when you act it!